Every family is different, so the arrangements that work for your family may be different from other families. Try to make arrangements that will work best for your children.
Like adults, children react in different ways to separation or divorce, depending on the child’s age, temperament and the level of cooperation or conflict between the parents.
- For children up to 5 years old, family breakdown can be difficult to understand.
- For older children can also experience a time of confusion and uncertainty even though they are more able to understand what is happening.
WHAT YOU NEED TO CONSIDER
- The way parents or other family members react and adjust to the separation makes a big difference to how children feel. Continued fighting can hurt children more than the separation itself.
- Keeping their care and love: Children need the continuing care and support of both parents. They may worry less if you can agree about what is going to happen and explain why to them. However, you should be careful not to discuss the dispute with the other parent or involve the children in adult matters.
- Time spent with kids: whether it is reasonably practical and in the best interests of the children to spend equal time or substantial and significant time with each parent (substantial and significant time include times other than weekends, school holidays and other days)
- How other close family members spend time with kids: how their time will be spent with other significant people in their lives, such as grandparents and other relatives
- After-school care: Who will look after them after school – Holiday: where they will spend holidays
- Others: Things such as choice of school, sports, health care, or religious matters, and the children’s cultural background, and how they will continue to be involved in that culture.
- It is of great importance that parents find a proper approach to inform their kids about their separation to avoid extreme and negative influence on their mental life.